That's what you get when you let your heart win

I was coming home on Wednesday after 9 and the sky looked like this. Beautiful, beautiful sky and black shapes of buildings and trees. Tomorrow it's going to be August and it's so nice, dark but warm evenings and stars and a crispy bite of what's about to come. October moon and rusty skies, like Chicane puts it...(seeds of autumn in my mind)

This week was enjoyable, laughing and removing books at work, not-so-early-mornings thanks to Tuula and the best strawberries ever! Yesterday morning while waiting for the bus I bought one container of organic strawberries from the market place and talked with the sales person, he said their farm is not big and they're only going to sell berries there until the end of this week. So today I called to Juha and he went to the centre to buy more red sweets for me. The taste is just HEAVENLY! And after eating these, I really know how real strawberries should taste like. Not bitter, not watery, just yummy.

I watched Sam Mendes film "Revolutionary road" today and oh, the mixed feelings! The movie was excellent story about a marriage in the 50's, life so stuck on gender roles and expectations. But I felt both angry and sorry for the couple, who tried so hard to leave the "normal" life behind just to realise it's easier said and planned than done. I'm just happy the society is not like that anymore...Older people so often long for the "good old times, when everything was simple", but what if simple too often means lack of choice?

Now time for tea, thinking of the old times (when Hyeyeon was here, all the nights we danced, drank wine, played card games in our commune, watched eclipse of the moon, talked, talked, talked, did the things we now smile at...) and the music, how it brings back the feelings of those times.

"You know when you feel it
You know when it hits you
There's no mistaking when you fall
You don't anticipate it
And you can't calculate it
It just comes crashing through your walls

You lose all sense of reason
You have no sense of danger
It's like you're living in a dream.
It lets you float through crowds and
Makes you smile at strangers
It's just the greatest state of being..."

(Oceanlab - Sky falls down)

Waiting for

My first tiny small flax flower! My other plants don't seem to be comfortable in my terrace (but I can't blame them, I also don't feel comfortable there!) so they are not making any flowers. I had to take a photo of this beauty, though!

This week is nice. First of all, my much loved friend Hyeyeon is coming to Finland next week! In fact she arrives to Helsinki on Sunday and spends the night at my uncle's place, but on Monday she'll be here! So happy so happy so happy so happy! I took 3 days off next week, so I can spend time with her and all our common friends. Warning, lots of photos incoming...

I also don't have to wait for the bus to get to work this week, because I can get a ride from our summer worker, my friend Tuula. Yay!

And my evening meal is (hmmm...was...) the best ever! Bread with avocado paste, organic pear, mysli, liquorice and sweet coconut chai tea :)

Also today at work I got one visitor I didn't expect; my ex-boss! She just wanted to know how I'm doing and we talked almost half an hour about life. What else is there to talk about :) It was so nice surprise, I felt warm the rest of the day. I also carried and removed so many books that my hands are hurting...

There is one nice girl who always comes to the library just before closing time almost every day. She likes to be the last customer and talk with me about birthdays, books, friends. I can somehow see myself in her, I was just like that when I was in elementary school :)


A bit of mudding and never-ending undead turning now, my beloved Conquer (also known as) Ivan from Canada is also coming to visit me in the end of August. Last time I caught him before he fainted on the floor after too much sauna, maybe this time I'll finally save his whole life! Und meinen Gurth (also known as) Vladimir treffe ich auch im August :) Wunderbar!

Somewhere over the rainbow

Thursday. Week almost done, so happy that weekend is coming! Sometimes it's just so difficult to get used to late evenings or early mornings at work. If somebody came today and asked me to continue also next year, I'd say no. It's financially very stupid as well as in all other ways, but that's what I'd answer.


(These photos have nothing to do with my writings, they are from the forest where I was bitten by mosquitos and hit by rain drops, some kind of war monument)

Last week it finally happened, there was one customer at the library who went totally nuts. She almost attacked one immigrant boy, shouted so ugly racist things...When librarian went between them and told to the boy that everything is alright, the woman started calling names of both of them and acted threateningly. Luckily there were also other people at the library at that time and they came for help and finally the woman left.

It's very nice to work alone in the evening shifts, when there is no-one you can turn to if there are any problems. Librarians say that it's going to stay this way until someone gets stabbed or hurt badly...Every year there is talking about how to make work places safer, but nothing is done anyway. It's so different in big libraries where there are many people working in the same building, own caretakers etc.

But well, next autumn I'm trying to have 2 people in the evening shift almost every day. It just means that some of us has to work 3 evenings a week and that means -> no hobbies, no family time. Being home at 9.30 pm.

I bought a new dress! I like the hem :)

And this is something I got from Tanzania, Barack Obama wall cloth! Again lots of thanks to Matti and Merja. Too bad the cloth was too heavy and it dropped from the wall next day, I have to find a way to keep it on the wall :) Matti told me women in Tanzania are wearing this kind of Obama fabrics as dresses and skirts, maybe I should make my own!

But I made my own, this time green socks! It took only 3 months... Knitting is really something that makes you forget everything else. Just as aerobic, singing (I tried to sing this morning in the empty library, nice echo :D) and reading. At the moment I'm reading Rafik Schami's Damaskoksen rakastavaiset (The Dark Side of Love in English) and it's very addictive, it's hard to put that book down and go to sleep in the evenings. It helps a little that the book has almost 900 pages though, so it's too heavy to hold for a long time ;)

Now some tea, aimless tv watching and then reading and then sleeping. Updating this blog takes too much time! I always think I'm going to write about some spesific thing, but it's too difficult. At home I don't have to be in order! I can be as flat as this tyre which exploded last Friday.


PS. I tried to read the last book of Twilight quadrilogy, Breaking dawn, but after violent sex (the best thing that can happen to you when you have sex for the first time [after getting married of course!] is to wake up full of bruises and cuttings! oh gimme more!), getting pregnant (contraception? anyone?) and giving birth to a baby while dying just didn't quite create any interest in me. Oh my, I must be getting old and why I take things so SERIOUSLY!

Just a little bit

I just found this buddha from work. Now it's going to sit and smile next to my computer, reminding me to relax and not to worry.

Others played volleyball last week, although it was only +14 degrees outside. I decided to watch and take a few photos, after that I was the champion of petanque!


Before...

and after. I had friends visiting me on Saturday, and what we did once again? Played card games and watched CSI Miami and ate so much! My favourite kind of weekend.

We also had one tiny visitor, it was so fast that I couldn't take any proper photos of it. Hopefully it will come soon again!

Now to work, it's raining so much, I don't know if I like it or not. But that doesn't matter :) I've been reading a lot, maybe next time some book recommendations!